It's World Breastfeeding Week! I can't think of a better reason to celebrate. Women can celebrate their ability to make milk. It's kind of a superpower. That along with making a human. Women can also celebrate their breastfeeding journey & feel proud for what they have accomplished.
Isla latched on directly after birth like a pro. I remember her little body curled up against mine and she was rooting instinctively. It was strange, ya know? You think of animals, fuzzy ones, doing things instinctively, not humans. She did what most every baby does, she ate, she fell asleep while eating. I did what most first time moms do…I stressed and thought she was going to starve. I put cold clothes on her feet, rubbed her cheek, tickled her belly, anything just to try to wake her. It was different, this little bitty person depended on me for nourishment. We did not have formula, I refused to buy it, and I knew it would be difficult, but I'm not sure I knew exactly why. We read books, I read blogs, and in the moment I forgot everything.
Two weeks out or so, I called my doula. I asked questions like:
When will she stop nursing so much, like every hour and when will I sleep? When will I walk comfortably? When will this get better? My boobs are like boulders, they hurt, should I pump it all out? Why is the milk yellow? What's that layer? OMG, her poop is green! OMG, her poop is orange!
My boobs were huge. They were hard, and I'm pretty sure they were past the normal AA-DD scale for some time there in the beginning. Not only that, my nipples changed, that was weird. Why don't they tell you your nipples change in the books? It's something I would like to know ahead of time & it is something I would rather not ask someone. When will my nipples go back? No thanks.
Breastfeeding is a superpower. If you deny that then you have never breastfed. A friend of mine recently posted that she has been breastfeeding for over 60 months. Seriously, that's awesome. I would personally like a break between children, but she's a much more determined person than myself. It is a lot of responsibility nursing a little one. I'm constantly watching what I eat and eating all the time. They suck it out of you & if you haven't eaten enough it becomes obvious very quickly. The body of a nursing mom is working all the time, using energy to make this white gold. I'm on a time limit when I am away. There is about a 3 hour window between her feedings. If she has pumped milk I give myself a few more hours and then I can pump, but then there is the timing issue. Will she eat in 2 hours or did she not get enough pumped milk and want to eat in one? How much should I pump? I feel a sense of guilt when I'm away. I know she loves nursing and I also know it's best for my supply if she does nurse. These are not negative things, not by any means. These are all wonderful things. They sound difficult but what feels so good cannot feel all that difficult.
Nursing my daughter is the most wonderful experience I have ever had. She is almost 12 months and I plan to continue until we are both ready to stop. Not only is it best for her, but it's best for me. She nurses to sleep and I tear up almost every night watching her. I want to nurse my baby to sleep. Yes, she demands it and rarely falls sleep without nursing, but that is a blessing. I am her comfort, she is my high. I always know when she's tired because she pulls her hair, and I know when she is not tired because she will tap me on the chest or pinch my neck. It is a bond like no other. My husband thinks I am a weirdo for some of the things I say about nursing or do while she nurses. I make him watch when something is funny or cute. He sometimes agrees and sometimes gives me an odd look. He will never understand and I love that about it. Not that he doesn't get to feel it, but because it is natural and personal, this bond that we have.
So happy breastfeeding week to all the other mommas out there! And happy feeding week to all those who cannot breastfeed. We are all doing the best we can & what we know is best for our babes.
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