I'm in the hotel room, in bed. My body is still running but I'm still. Everyone is asleep but me, as usual, but I can't shut my brain off.
"You did something. We are being punished for something. It's your fault. You're the one who got pooped on. I'm being punished just because I'm here with you." - What I said to Travis 3 hours ago.
We bought tickets for the GA aquarium on the way here. I asked for the trip as a birthday gift for myself. I love Atlanta, I missed Atlanta. You can save money, ya know, buying tickets online before arriving. Not only that, but you can get 30% off if buying tickets to visit after 4. No one wants to go after 4. Kids are tired (other than mine) and people want dinner an hour or two later. Everyone goes during the day. It's perfect for those of us who don't like crowds, maybe also those with any form of OCD.
If there were a place specifically designed for my eternal punishment, it would be exactly like the GA aquarium on a Saturday night, after 4. Welcome to the best aquarium in the US of A. Enjoy your walk through the hipster smokers on your way to our door. Breathe in the views kids. Oh look, we can go in the short line, so glad I bought these tickets online. The place is huge, estimated you can fit the population of GA in there, and comfortably according to those benefiting. The whales are cool, the sea otters are cute. What else is there, you ask, in the greatest aquarium in the USA? Oh, I have no clue. I have no clue because I couldn't see. I was blinded by the coughing. There were smells, and coughing, and hacking, coughing, people, and I think there were some fish.
"Let's go to the dolphin show" -me
There weren't too many people going up the elevator to the dolphin celebration. Maybe no one noticed the times. Perfect. Up the elevator, a whole other crowd of people, new people, new population of coughers, new antibiotic resistant superbugs floating through the air.
"This is the perfect time to go see everything. Let's skip this, go back, everyone will come here. Perfect." -me
"There is no turning back." -Travis (bad karma)
The place is packed like Walmart on Black Friday. I want to keep my family alive, there is no turning back.
If you sit in the first 3 rows at the dolphin show you get soaked, first ten, you get wet. They tell you over and over and over and over, just in case you're allergic to dolphin water, it's serious. 30 minutes of waiting, one year old OVER it. 20 minutes of awesome dolphinness (yep), dolphins sure are magical creatures, 10 more minutes, one year old losing it again. Exit.
Isla needs something from the gift shop, so Travis takes Emmeline outside for air. Blowfish stuffed animal, perfect. In line- ridiculous wait time for a blowfish.
Travis returns, eyes wide, obviously stressed, "she p???ed."
Blowfish down. We are out. I told Isla she puked and we had to go. Something is wrong. Isla cries over blowfish. Travis takes the stairs to the car, four flights up parking garage, holding a 26lb puking(??) baby. I feel for him. Isla and I take the elevator, we have the double stroller, plus, ya know. We meet Travis as he is coming out the stairwell. Man, he just ran those stairs for nothing.
"She pooped all over herself and all over me." -Travis
Wait.
Poop? I just ran out of the line for poop?!? Isla is still crying over said blowfish. Must parent four year old.
"Isla, I am so sorry. I thought Emmeline was puking and really sick. I didn't hear clearly, so sorry. We will order the most giant blowfish I can find." -me (quality parenting)
So we are off. Travis needed a poopless shirt. TJ Max was in sight, right next to Whole Foods, perfect, we were starving. We bathed off the germs and jumped in bed, praying to silence the children for the night. Peace, at last.
We were planning on going to the zoo tomorrow, but I just can't. The kids don't care. They don't even like the zoo that much anyways, right? It was purely for us to feel like we're doing the right thing, taking our kids to the zoo. Elephants aren't made of chocolate, Isla doesn't care. Plus, my moral integrity was already tested with the whole dolphin thing. Forgive me God, I know better.
Continued after returning home....
Emmeline woke us up at 7 Sunday morning. We decided to find the closest park for the kids to play. Luckily, we were in Buckhead so the closest park was awesome, the most unique park we have ever been to. It somewhat made up for the insanity the day before. Isla and Emmeline ran around and played, even in the rain, until they were exhausted. We were thankful for the trees, the fresh air, lack of people, and smiles. We headed back for naps and checked out of the hotel at noon. The rain was peaceful, and washed away any guilt for skipping the zoo.
So, once again, I care for you all so much. IF you feel like you are losing it, you just need a little tap-tap to push you face first into the deep end, go to the GA Aquarium, on a Saturday, after 4pm..
